Where are the Leaders?
Lately, several people have come to me for guidance in leadership since more people are looking to them, so I thought I’d take the space here to create a kind of mini-series on leadership.
Today, to start this mini-series, I just want to acknowledge how important it was that each of these individuals had the awareness to recognize the influence they were having on others. And then, rather than ignore it or run from it, they accepted the reality of their influence, not from a place of pride, but from a place of humility. They chose to move forward consciously and ethically. They sought out a trustworthy and mutual alliance, a relationship that allows us to be honest friends and counselors to one another, polished mirrors, to keep us sharp, humble, and honest.
This is crucial because, as the celebrated UC Berkley psychologist Dacher Keltner has shown in his book The Power Paradox, the traits that earn people influence—presence, empathy, generosity—are often the very traits that diminish once power is gained. Over time, leaders tend to pay less attention to others, show less empathy, interrupt and dominate conversations, become more impulsive, and lose self-awareness.
Ethical leaders are awake to these pitfalls, so they make sure to surround themselves with wise, loving people, those who will point them back to their true and authentic Self but who will also remind them that they’re only human—as my daughter says, “perfectly imperfect.”
By John Driggs
“Even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked.”
–Bob Dylan, It’s Alright Ma’